Where She decided to take her pain...

Not everyone can handle your brokenness. Not everyone can understand the weight of the grief you may be buried under. In those overwhelming moments when a challenge or sorrow threatens to overtake our experience, we hope that others will empathize with us and provide the comfort of a listening ear or a shoulder to lean on. But what if the responses we receive don’t measure up to the comfort we desperately need? Where do we take our grief, our burdens, our cares? Where do we take the sorrow that crushes the soul?

Then Elkanah her husband said to her, “Hannah, why do you weep? Why do you not eat? And why is your heart grieved? Am I not better to you than ten sons?” (I Samuel 1:8, NKJV)

Crushed by a loss of hope of having a child, Hannah’s barrenness had taken its toll. While her husband Elkanah cared deeply for Hannah, his love couldn’t take the place of this great desire. Even his attempts to provide comfort were inadequate and inadvertently dismissive of the depth of pain she felt. When he offered himself as a substitution for what she wanted most, Hannah couldn’t find solace in the words he shared.

And her rival also provoked her severely, to make her miserable, because the Lord had closed her womb. So it was, year by year, when she went up to the house of the Lord, that she provoked her; therefore she wept and did not eat (I Samuel 1:6-7, NKJV)

Penninah, the second wife who had experienced the joy of motherhood, used every opportunity to exploit Hannah’s pain for her own pleasure. Instead of offering sympathy or even kindness, Penninah’s constant taunting reduced Hannah to tears. Penninah’s abuse on top of the pain of infertility was more than Hannah could endure.

Now Hannah spoke in her heart; only her lips moved, but her voice was not heard. Therefore Eli thought she was drunk. So Eli said to her, “How long will you be drunk? Put your wine away from you!” (I Samuel 1:13-14, NKJV).

Eli could only go on what he was observing. And what he saw appeared to be a drunken woman at the tabernacle making a spectacle of herself. Misunderstanding the passionate scene playing out in front of him, he reprimanded Hannah, accused her of being drunk and was ready to remove her.

In life and leadership, when our pain is at the forefront, we may experience responses like the ones Hannah encountered. Elkanah appeared dismissive. Penninah was abusive. Eli misunderstood. Sound familiar? What is it about pain that sometimes brings out the worst in those around us? A work colleague might find your misery comical. A spouse might misunderstand what has you so bothered. A trusted friend may not have time for another retelling of your sorrowful saga.

Pain carries weight, weight for which someone must bear responsibility. When we bare our souls to others what we often don’t consider is their ability to stand up under the load. Here’s where Hannah’s story illustrates a powerful lesson for us as leadHERs. What somebody can’t stand to see you tripped up over, what others wish you’d give a rest, what your own soul can’t let go of – these are the very things we can bring to God. Depositing the load on His capable shoulders, committing to Him the care of our souls is the liberating and life-giving activity that will bring true freedom.

Hannah didn’t pray with a full knowledge of the outcome. She didn’t know if her infertility would come to an end in that moment. But what she did know was that God was the only one who could handle her brokenness. To come to that realization is to come to a certain level of desperation, but also consolation that what you’re carrying doesn’t have to be yours alone to bear.

Weighty places in our lives and leadership should lead us to the place where we can truly lay our burdens down. At the feet of Jesus. In His presence. In His care.

Are you Barren? Recognize that pain can render you incapable and unproductive.

Are you Broken? Take ALL your shattered pieces into God’s presence.

Are you Burdened? Transfer the weight you weren’t designed to carry into God’s capable hands.

Bare it all! Through prayer, put it all on the line, pour out your soul before Him.

LeadHER, my prayer for you today is that you will take your pain, your broken pieces, your burdens and cares into the presence of the Father. May you come with confidence that He is ready to hold you up in the moments when all other support may fail. Let Him lift the weight of your situation from your shoulders and speak peace into your heart.

Your Sister in LeadHERship,

Dr. Margaret R. Frye

Want to learn more about Hannah’s Story? Find it in I Samuel

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